I have been seeing my therapist for roughly a month, maybe two months. I’ve come to realize that I view myself as a background character in my own life. I would rather discuss other people, try to fix them then fix myself. This Wednesday I get to talk about what I want for me that does not include a significant other or other people. Just me.
I have no idea what to talk about.
I have thought I want the ability to accept the fact that I will not receive the apologies I feel I deserve.
I have thought I want to have financial stability and a place of my own.
I have thought that I want to continue having my current job and work as a coder to satisfy my career.
But all that seems trivial.
What I have wanted solely for myself for years has been my own passing.
I’m not sure how my therapist will help with this.