I am beginning to wonder the point in dating.

I have tried OkCupid, Tindr, and Bagel Meets Coffee.

OkCupid I started talking to an individual named Anthony. I rarely am on my laptop anymore and the mobile app tends to be glitchy. I would respond and Anthony would leave me a novel of a response. I felt bad for not responding more promptly to him and because on paper he seemed like an interesting person, I gave him my FaceBook contact information. That was a mistake.

Anthony had never had a long term relationship. According to him, he had simply had a few flings or friends with benefits. He is 34. I noticed a trend in my status updates. Regardless of what I had posted, he liked. Every. Single. One. I had no access to who his friends were on FaceBook. And most unnerving of all he had a slew of plus-size alternative models that he friended. This made me think that perhaps, he was not interested in me as a person but me as a easier to obtain fantasy woman. I began to feel uneasy talking to him, so I told him that I only saw him as a casual friend and would not be mentally prepared to date until a year or so. His response was: “If you do want to pursue something in the future then let me know. Im kind of terrible at finding people to date. So I’ll probably still be single.” What kind of passive aggressive bull shit is that?

Tindr… oh Tindr…
Meet a wrestler who I met years earlier back when he was starting his training as a local one. In fact, I was dating my ex Josh at the time of our initial meeting. He’s a nice enough guy but he’s poly. Not my cup of tea but if I get the urge, we have an arrangement.
Meet a haunted house performer that works with my exes Corey and Josh. He’s cute, into horror movies, and a decent conversationalist. He’s also married and unhappily so at times but doesn’t want to break up his home. Mmm… and talking to single women on a dating ap (that’s geared towards one night stands) is going to help your marriage?

And now for the horror stories.

I had had a fun time messaging a man by the name of Lurch (not his real name, I can’t recall what that was), so we exchanged SnapChat names. I would try to have actual conversations with Lurch and I felt like I was speaking to a child who was preoccupied with Sesame Street. His snaps consisted of him being in stages of undressed. I asked him to not send me those, as I had no desire to see anymore dick pics. ((Oh good. A penis. Joy. She said deadpan and mono toned)). He would constantly ask me if I wanted to see him suck his own cock. I firmly said no each time. He finally sent me a video of him doing just that. I blocked him. Why the fuck are you on dating sites if you can suck your own dick?

There was a persistent horn dog on Tinder that I talked to. I’ll be posting photos from that conversation.

Finally there’s Timothy.

I meet him through Bagel meets Coffee. We went on one date. He spent most of the night reaching for my hand. First and foremost, I am not big on holding hands on the first date. I give hugs at the end but that’s about all the physical contact I give. He threw a fit when I wouldn’t hold his hand from across a table. He then unfriended me and ghosted me for  a week after. I thought nothing of our lack of conversation because my uncle had passed, but he explained to me that he had in fact ghosted me. Why? Because he didn’t think we were on the same page dating wise and touch is very big for him. I told him that his behavior was not very mature for a man with children. That what he did showed me absolutely no respect what-so-ever. That despite my appearance, I was not as disrespectful or immature as would be thought. I decided to go on another date with him to confirm my feelings of eh towards him.
We went to a beer and sausage tasting. I held his hand and not begrudgingly so. I was actually trying to relax and give this man a chance. The date went lovely until the end. I went to give him a simple kiss. Nothing fancy, the kind of peck you give your grandmother. He slobbered on half my face and grabbed every piece of soft flesh he could.
Considering his fit with hand holding and his aggressiveness with kissing, my thoughts of him putting me in a situation I did not want caused me to finally say enough.

 

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